mind-swirling ideas

Discipline or Torture

When does discipline ends and torture starts? When to discipline a child or man? Or how it must be imposed? Sometimes being a disciplinarian does do well but oftentimes it is used in a “not so proper way”. I am quoting those words because many might oppose if I will say “wrong way”. Who am I, anyway, to justify right or wrong discipline? We are all living on a standard and everything depended on a person’s perspective. (And I respect that, these are all mind swirling opinions, anyway)

Every word that came out from your mouth is always remembered in any way possible. It might not be on the very same day you said it but time will come that mind will restore that stored nerve-wracking, self-shattering words in relation to what the whole being is experiencing for some time being. It might be helpful or it can be a trigger for some bad or good notion. So, it is always said that be careful in releasing words even if you don’t really mean it or even if you are just joking(?).

Words can create fear and it might lead a person to rebellion just to conquer that fear even if it means making his life miserable, just to mask that fear which he doesn’t want the world to know he have. Because every person on earth has the very instinct of survival and conquering fear is one of the examples of surviving. It will be awesome and remarkably amazing if the surviving got on all by himself, nobody was hurt, but mostly, it doesn’t happen that way. Oftentimes, there’s someone who was impaired along the way of struggle. Sometimes the one who was hurt were the ones who caused him to have that urge to conquer, the one who inflicted the pain, the one who created all the reasons to all his misery, the one who shot those painful words in his being.

There are already lots of stories wherein people got successful because of hearing simple but enlightening words, words that came from those individuals who just commented matter-factly and doesn’t even realized they were the source of that encouragement and determination of that very person to succeed.

One example was of a man who became a successful writer just from the 4 words, “This is good writing.” when he first wrote his paragraph when he was still in grade school. Those words came from his teacher who became his light to strive.  A boy who was shy and insecure became a successful man by just hearing the words of appreciation.

Saying something to a child without meaning it doesn’t mean the child also understand that you don’t really meant it. It goes through the heart and stored in the mind which can create pain, hurt and discouragement. Someday, it will be the cause of his disappointment. Then you will say that he is the one who’s making his destiny that it’s his choice what he’ll do with his life, but, you directed him to it. Then you will reason that it’s his fault why he got himself affected by it. The truth is there are no reasons when somebody’s hurt by words. Words have power, it is a double-edged word. It must be something that we ought to think of first before saying. That is why there are terms like tactful and tactless. It is still safe to tell words of encouragement so that a child will have a positive view in his life and do better things.

No matter the child’s behavior, discipline must always be understandably rightful or righteous both to the disciplinarian as well as to the one being disciplined. After all, you don’t want to be the cause of his future failures.

It’s always hurting to accept mistakes especially to the part of the disciplinarian but you don’t want to bounce back all your inflictions to you, do you? The saying, “DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS DO UNTO YOU”, still strongly nudge your conscience. You cannot see your own mistakes, much more you cannot accept your visible wrongs maybe because of the fact that you are hypocrite (?) or you just choose to ignore it or maybe you also have experiences that made you into what you are now but refuse to recognize that you are also hurting from the past? If the latter is so, then why let others feel the way you felt before? For revenge? Why to others? Others did not cause the pain you have before, somebody did and that somebody you must forgive for you to move on and will not repeat history. It will be a torture to you if somebody will comment on your discipline because you failed to accept to yourself that you are eventually on the wrong track. It is a shame you can’t face to accept unless you wanted others to see you as wicked one.

You can discipline and still earn respect if you’ll know first what you are about to do without hurting others feelings. Explain well and be patient. Patience is all you’ve got for the others to understand you. Scold and make up. Understand and be reasonable always. Be open-minded and accept faults. Remember that torturing a child physically, emotionally and psychologically means breaking the law and that’s not just it, it also means destroying a child’s dreams and point of view of how wonderful the world is!

PARENTHOOD

PARENTHOOD...planned or accidental?

Nowadays because of the ever growing freedom fever all across the world, problems are also sprouting like mushrooms when there's lightning. One of which is being a parent. You may ask, is being a parent really a problem? In most ways, yes, because being a parent is not a big joke you can just decide on or accidentally take!

Let's dissect and think what is really the matter with parenthood. But first, the question stands: Is it planned or accidental?

The most problem these days is the ACCIDENTAL PARENTHOOD. This applies to most teens that don't heed discipline for future's sake, those that knows better but regret later types, those who rebels to they only know what never minding right or wrong. Later they regret the outcome: hate the situation and even hate the child within no matter if it is their own self or the one that is supposedly the gift from above. Then, there goes the parenting. The upbringing matters on how the parent feels about the child. If the accident is fully and rightfully accepted, then, good for them all for they will have a happy environment. The child will grow secured and loved and cared for. On the other side of the story, it would be very sad for all to know. The child is forsaken, become bitter and worst scenarios my mind chose not to think.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD is much better because future is well prepared. Everything is well prepared. Though there might be problems that may arise, it is always faced with courage and bold determination to survive because the love is always there, the care is unsolicitedly given and most of all the providence is much well provided for.

The point is, if either of the two happens or prevails, the only responsible for everything will be the would-be parent...if it happens, be bold, be strong and be ready to face the truth that it is happening. Think positively so that your life will not become miserable and your child will feel that it is really good to be alive!

Minding Your Relationship Again

Relationship as a COUPLE

Couples composed of two people, of different upbringing, from different environment, from different type of discipline, and from different kind of beliefs in all things. That is why most couples doesn't last for a long time and choose to just end the relationship even if they still love each other and still wanted to be with each other because they cannot just can't bear to be with each other forever (only for a day or two or "just when I needed you most" but if I am happy you're out of my life! only when I am sad, no one to talk to, no money to spend and etc...). Reasons, reasons, reasons....it is really a choice between couples, I mean the parting time, no matter how painful to see him or her go, one of each will always think it is better to let go than to be hurt so many times. Okay! Let's deal with this....

Let us first deal with LOVE GONE ASTRAY.

WHAT. Know the reasons (no matter how many) what causes the "Forever Never After" thing. Love? I guess not, love is always there ( accept it or not, it's up to you, just do not be a hypocrite...), it never left even if you are not with each other anymore, love always finds its ways to your hearts. But not always to make up, (yeah, sadly) sometimes just enough to bind some friendship between you. Well, at least, you still get to see each other and talk with each other as long as no husband or wife will react (uhurm...). The love you have both when you are still with each other will show you, both, how to be the best of friends. It will even help you with your new relationship! BUT...there's that big BUT....KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS! You may never know it will lead to some unhealthy affair and then too late! You will hurt somebody...everyone! And it's a no-no!

Then, what might be the reason? Money? Well, there are those women who just want to buy it all. Made you a clear relationship, you think you are in love, then, all of a sudden, she just wanted to buy it all!!! In fairness, well, there are also he to this kind of relationship. Sometimes men also tend to find rich women to fulfill their material needs. With the kind of age we are in now, with all the new gadgets that men love to have and even envy to have, finding someone with money is easier if they have relationship with them. But as we all know, just beware! Always be sane! Always think and love, think and love, love and think, love and think...just to help you not get hurt and POOR in the end.

What are the other reasons? Sex? Might be! There are those couples who problem sex even sex is not making or giving them a problem (haha!). You may ask, in what way? Most couples will answer, in many ways......Sex sometimes next to money is the most problem that arose between couples. Might be that the issue of pre-ejaculation is touch, might be that the other is upset because the other is being selfish, self-centered and insensitive. Name everything you want to in terminology but just the same, it all ends up with one problem: sex satisfaction. If there is satisfaction, both will be happy and contented, rested and settled, stress-free and the relationship will be a smooth-sailing one. Though there will be some small dark mushroom along the way, but both will be able to go hand in hand walking along that rocky road. Always think when there are problems, that in a relationship, a road might be so rocky but no matter how hurting it is to travel, the view is magnificent! Let us talk about sex...healthy sex (of course! But still Parental Guidance is needed). Why do couples sometimes start the day with a pout? The answer might be that the partner left the other hanging last night on their adventure. Why? Maybe the other one is so tired? Or the other is sick? If this will be the case, it is curable still. Just understand each other and make some ways to ease the burden so that the partner will be able to cater to your "needs". If the woman is tired from the days work or anything, why not the man prepare the dinner ( no matter the take-out), set the table, massage the tension away, talk...then maybe, it will lead to a wonderful experience better than you expected. But if all else fail, don't fret! Hold on to your temper, there will always be next time...

think WISE!

WHO'S THE BOSS?!

In a relationship, there's always this question. The issue is always the same, the answer is never confirmed...maybe because the man always win? or the woman insists on winning? In different matters, whether single personalities or married ones, no matter their status in the society: rich or poor; celebrity or not...the issue always stays...WHO IS REALLY THE BOSS? THE MAN OR THE WOMAN? THE BOY OR THE GIRL? THE GENT OR THE LADY? No matter the gender, THE GAY OR THE LESBIAN? The GAY or the MAN? The LESBIAN or the WOMAN? Everybody wants to STAND OUT! Everybody wants to be THE ONE!

In the movies like this one, people who had this idea maybe experienced some "WHO'S WHO?" thinking, mind boggling, mind swirling notion of who must really be looked up to or who must decide matters inside the house or even outside. When the movie maker decided to include people to think the same thing he's confused of, he chose to make the idea into action, maybe also wanting to have people's point of view of the issue since this idea of "WHO'S WHO?" is a long forgotten or chosen to be forgotten issue ( but I 'm choosing to restore it just for some good thinking...hehehe...it will help you forget you are experiencing chicken pox or diarrhea! At least, for a while until the bathroom tissue lasts!) It is always a big issue for married couples of who must decide, the wife or the husband? If the husband will decide, is the decision okay for the wife? Or just agreeing so as not to hurt husband's feeling? and vice versa...Things are the same to all relationships not just in marriage. Who must be the boss?

Let us try to think and decide "WHO'S WHO?"

Let us first define the word "BOSS". According to the encyclopedia, the BOSS is the one who makes and decides and exercises authority. Well, not much of a hurting definition but try this: the BOSS is the one who orders in an arrogant domineering manner, the topnotch, first-rate character (OUCH!)...I will let you think your own definition of a BOSS, seems like your own definition will help you settle your mind of what really the boss is like...so, now, we are confused!

Let's Dig Deeper!

Most relationships do not lasts because somebody does not want to give up a fight even for the sake of saving the relationship. Some broke up just because the others won't humble themselves and the other one chose not to be affected. Here comes the bridging connection: PRIDE. Yep! Pride is the topmost factor in broken relationships. One always says he is right and the other always stands up for what she believes to be right. Then here comes EGO. The ego of the other is hurt while the other's ego ignores the nagging reasons inside. The libido of both is then affected and became bland like a soup with no seasoning at all! Then caused the decision of both parties to end up even if they still love each other. Well, most are not honest enough to accept these fact but sure thing is, both will have all the negative comments to each other which were not seen or tackled when they met each other at the bar...they will both see the turn-off scar on the left side of the face when in fact, they were oblivious of it when they saw each other at the party...all features that are not mentioned when they are still mesmerized by their tantalizing eyes when they bumped into each other on their way home will be automatically surface. It's all because each would like to stand on their own no matter right or wrong, each wanted to be the boss of the night!

Let's get back to the creation, when God made man, He did told the man his right over everything He just created. Right to name the animals, plants and even right to be superior over the living things. But when the woman was created, God did not told the man to be the boss over the woman but instead to take care of the woman for she came from the man. The same way with the woman not being told by God to overcome the man but only submit herself.

Now you ask, is being submissive the same as looking up to the boss? Being submissive is also being respective as you are respected. There's the give and take idea. Don't get too hot over an argument if you think you only want to insist never minding if you are right or wrong, or it's not yet the right time for your idea to surface. There's always a right timing to everything. Your idea might be approved to your partner when he is in the mood to agree with it. Or your argument is just a simple throw if she's not tired over the day's work.

Now, who's the boss? Actually, no one is. It is just your idea of being the boss that made it an argument. A relationship is called one because it is relating with each other, it's not being bossy with each other. There's respect always. It is all an idea like what this blog is!

To have real notion about this idea, the You Tube has more clips to view from since the Hindi movie Yes Boss already have some English subtitles to watch for and can be understood by most people. As I was browsing the internet to add to this topic, I came across the movie clips in the You Tube. It is really a hilarious kind of movie regarding the WHO's WHO but also full of hidden views. The issue of who is really the boss was made into something funny to watch for to lighten the undying argument. There are some twist, though, like the focus of the manager towards employers but what I want you to focus on is the relationship between the couple. On how the woman treats the man and the man's reactions to the woman so that the idea of who is the boss in the relationship will be a little bit clarified for you (if you are not yet settled with the idea...)

In searching like topics in the internet, I admire one site which also talks about relationship. Many topics were tackled that were also related to this issue. I admire the writer on how the blog was made. It showcased all relationship topics. You can also have the idea and might help you resolve this issue of WHO's WHO, just visit www.buzzle.com/articles/sign-of-a-controlling-relationship.html

In relation to this issue, your mind can share with me your own point of view of WHO's WHO....because until now, I still wonder....